We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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