Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
