I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
