thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
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