Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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