I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
