im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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