There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
