I need help removing her.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
