what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
