Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
