I CAN MOONWALK!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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