not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
