First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So vagazzling was a success
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize