what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
