i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize