the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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