I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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