Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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