is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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