my soul wont recognize me after tonight
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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