i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
