twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
