when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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