As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
