I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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