But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
