Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
