so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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