Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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