I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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