Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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