haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
