I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
