We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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