I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the condom got lost in my hair
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize