At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize