i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.