He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize