You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
