the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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