its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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