She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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