So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
