doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
