It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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