Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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