I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
