why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
