No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
