make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
