Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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