Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
