so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
