I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
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so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
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drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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