I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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