I heard we made out
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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