i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize