Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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