Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
