At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
