Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
