shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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