Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.

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(217): View more from Illinois

i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.

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(404): View more from Georgia

you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.

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(770): View more from Georgia

finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.

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(407): View more from Florida

shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...

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(571): View more from Virginia

So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.

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