She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
